So I was sitting in my Acts class next to a person I once considered a best friend. At this point in time I'm not sure what to consider her anymore. It was kind of weird actually, because she never sat next to me in this class. I'd sit in the back while she sat in the front with her two other friends. It was unexpected actually. I didn't mind them sitting next to me, it was whatever.But as I was trying to do an assignment for another class I couldn't get this scene out of my head, so I opened a blank page and began to type. I know she was reading over my shoulder, because I could feel her begin to get uneasy at what I typed...
Looking around, in the darkness I sit. I wonder why no one has come to rescue me. I’ve done everything they told me to do. I reflected back… I read, I prayed… I did everything they told me to do but still I sit here empty. I acted the way they wanted me to. Happy, proper, never looking disappointed. Looking as if one could be Jesus’ best friend. I didn’t show my brokenness to them, in fear that they wouldn’t be able to handle it. But still inside I felt the need to. Maybe they’d be able to help me. Just maybe. I closed my eyes and could see myself proceeding to share, but in the end I was torn down, bruised and beaten with words of hate and not love. They believed in Jesus and as did I, but there was no love shown within my vulnerability. I open my eyes and anger fills me. Before I said anything to them, they showed me love. They cared for me, but as soon as I allowed them into my darkness they out shined me with their "truth" and missed me. Sitting in my thoughts I then saw a light shine off into the distance. So tempted I would have rather walked away from it. But in a loud voice I heard, “Don’t walk away. There is love here”. I turned. “Run to me my love, run to me”. I was filled with such fire, that wasn’t of anger for once but of passion and of a longing love and acceptance I’ve been waiting for. Panting in exhaustion I reached a man, I laid my head upon his chest and wept. He wrapped me in his arms and I could feel his love pour out onto me. “When doubt fills you, don’t run. Do not entertain those thoughts, but run to me. Have faith in me and run to me. Love me with all you have, and keep your faith in me not those around you. In the end it will just be you and me. I’m the only one that will love you forever and ever. Be different and love everyone no matter their situation. Even those who have hurt you, love them. But do not love them in your own strength; love them in My strength.” He then touched my chest, and my heart began to glow and my surroundings began to illuminate. There I sat, no longer in darkness. I felt my chest, and could feel the beat of my heart once again.
As life goes you will encounter those who will build you in love, and those who will tear you down in ignorance. Hold on to the ones who will love you no matter the cause. Who will show you the love of God, and be there no matter what. Someone who will be there to listen to you, hears you, and speaks to you in truth. There’s a difference between sharing one’s thoughts and pushing ones beliefs on another. God is the only who can change anyone’s heart and way of thinking, through the Holy Spirit. No one person can change another person, only God has the power to change a person. A person can plant the seed of change within another, but God will water and fertilize that seed into a beautiful harvest.
