Truth

"Love is when you find someone who is your best friend and you can be yourself around them. Its when words can't come close to how you feel. Its when you know you are supposed to be together. And if you have to wait forever . . . You Will."

June 11th 2009


L0vingU021409 (9:36:59 PM): Here i am lol
g0t til its g0ne (9:37:14 PM): -raises eyebrow-
g0t til its g0ne (9:37:16 PM): interesting name
L0vingU021409 (9:37:29 PM): well
L0vingU021409 (9:37:31 PM): yes
L0vingU021409 (9:37:33 PM): i know
g0t til its g0ne (9:37:42 PM): hmm
L0vingU021409 (9:37:49 PM): why u gotta say it like for?
L0vingU021409 (9:37:58 PM): like ur disgusted by it
L0vingU021409 (9:38:02 PM): geez
g0t til its g0ne (9:38:10 PM): i didnt say that did i?
g0t til its g0ne (9:38:11 PM): nope
L0vingU021409 (9:38:22 PM): now i'm assuming
L0vingU021409 (9:38:25 PM): sorry
g0t til its g0ne (9:38:36 PM): -pokes you-
g0t til its g0ne (9:38:56 PM): u sent me nekkie piccys earlier. and made me think dirrty thoughts -shakes finger at you-
g0t til its g0ne (9:39:11 PM): i almost choked on my dinner!
L0vingU021409 (9:39:13 PM): ~giggles at you~
L0vingU021409 (9:39:39 PM): sorry
L0vingU021409 (9:39:43 PM): not my intention
g0t til its g0ne (9:39:51 PM): MMPH!
L0vingU021409 (9:40:12 PM): no really
L0vingU021409 (9:40:21 PM): i jus woke up this morning
L0vingU021409 (9:40:23 PM): and was like hmmm
L0vingU021409 (9:40:30 PM): imma send pics to cacey
L0vingU021409 (9:40:36 PM): 
g0t til its g0ne (9:41:02 PM): hmm
g0t til its g0ne (9:41:05 PM): :**
g0t til its g0ne (9:41:07 PM): well thank you
L0vingU021409 (9:41:11 PM): welcome
L0vingU021409 (9:41:16 PM): least i could do 
L0vingU021409 (9:41:28 PM): ugh stalker status is on my case
L0vingU021409 (9:41:41 PM): adding me as a friend on myspace...askin why did i drop him
g0t til its g0ne (9:42:03 PM): lmao
L0vingU021409 (9:42:25 PM): im like ummm
L0vingU021409 (9:42:36 PM): i want to deny him, but he's gonna keep trying to add me
L0vingU021409 (9:42:42 PM): so imma just let him sit there
L0vingU021409 (9:43:33 PM): I'm so mean
g0t til its g0ne (9:43:47 PM): lmaooo
g0t til its g0ne (9:43:53 PM): i've done that to a few ppl
L0vingU021409 (9:44:16 PM): i bet you have
L0vingU021409 (9:45:40 PM): you would be that person
L0vingU021409 (9:45:45 PM): to be like... eh
L0vingU021409 (9:45:56 PM): I'll leave u there for a minute
g0t til its g0ne (9:46:02 PM): yeeah
g0t til its g0ne (9:46:14 PM): i'll just be mean that way lol
L0vingU021409 (9:46:25 PM): i thought you couldnt be mean
L0vingU021409 (9:46:30 PM): guess i was wrong
L0vingU021409 (9:46:58 PM): 
g0t til its g0ne (9:48:55 PM): i can be mean, just not bluntly
g0t til its g0ne (9:48:59 PM): and stfu!
g0t til its g0ne (9:49:00 PM): gosh
g0t til its g0ne (9:49:06 PM): -BIG sigh-
L0vingU021409 (9:49:20 PM): mmph
g0t til its g0ne (9:49:25 PM): i hate conversations like that
g0t til its g0ne (9:49:30 PM): it kinda irritated me
L0vingU021409 (9:49:36 PM): like what?
g0t til its g0ne (9:49:39 PM): and wow
g0t til its g0ne (9:49:46 PM): my hair is pretty darn amazing sometimes
g0t til its g0ne (9:50:23 PM): i combed it out, and like threw it up in a messy bun, and now its trying to like corkscrew
L0vingU021409 (9:50:34 PM): haha
L0vingU021409 (9:50:40 PM): ur hair has a mind of its own
L0vingU021409 (9:50:52 PM): wait what kind of conversations irritate u/?
g0t til its g0ne (9:51:01 PM): it was just like.. UGH
g0t til its g0ne (9:51:25 PM): so jimmy was talking about htese apartments he saw.. and i think i found them online, so i was trying to check in with him
g0t til its g0ne (9:51:32 PM): he finally calls me back after like 6 hrs
g0t til its g0ne (9:51:41 PM): and im trying to talk to him
g0t til its g0ne (9:51:47 PM): and its like he wasnt even listening
g0t til its g0ne (9:52:06 PM): and then hes like "Aight babe, im gonna eat, i'll call you back bye"
g0t til its g0ne (9:52:07 PM): UGH
g0t til its g0ne (9:52:24 PM): if i could afford to replace my phone right now, i'd throw it
L0vingU021409 (9:52:26 PM): ~blink blink~
L0vingU021409 (9:52:37 PM): ummm dont do that
g0t til its g0ne (9:52:44 PM): its like dont call me if your not gonna be able to listen to what i gotta say
L0vingU021409 (9:53:02 PM): yeah for sure
g0t til its g0ne (9:53:30 PM): i was tellin him shit, and hes not even responding, instead hes respond to someone else that was in the room with him. UGH it just irks my nerves
g0t til its g0ne (9:53:35 PM): i hate when ANYONE does that
g0t til its g0ne (9:53:58 PM): dont pick up side conversations, expecially when im talking and is in midsentence trying to tell you something
g0t til its g0ne (9:54:10 PM): i need to throw something
g0t til its g0ne (9:54:16 PM): and i want to hear it break
g0t til its g0ne (9:54:20 PM): or at least crack
L0vingU021409 (9:54:37 PM): ~blink blink~
L0vingU021409 (9:55:12 PM): note to self... when i call cacey give full undivided attention
L0vingU021409 (9:55:25 PM): and dont pick up side conversations
L0vingU021409 (9:55:30 PM): okay noted
L0vingU021409 (9:55:33 PM): lol
g0t til its g0ne (9:55:52 PM): i really wish i had something to throw and break
g0t til its g0ne (9:56:16 PM): i have all this pent up tension and UGH
L0vingU021409 (9:56:27 PM): thats not good
g0t til its g0ne (9:56:36 PM): i just want to hear the sound of something shattering
g0t til its g0ne (9:57:01 PM): i wish i could go into a china shop with a bat and just bash all that shit to pieces
L0vingU021409 (9:57:03 PM): hmmm
L0vingU021409 (9:57:14 PM): that would be fun as hell
L0vingU021409 (9:57:29 PM): jus get all mad black woman status lmao
g0t til its g0ne (9:57:30 PM): i think i need to take up boxing or something
g0t til its g0ne (9:57:39 PM): i want to do kickboxing
L0vingU021409 (9:57:46 PM): i was suppose to do kickboxing with sharnell soon
g0t til its g0ne (9:57:52 PM): i think that would relieve alot of my tension
g0t til its g0ne (9:58:09 PM): it just builds up and i get moments like this and any one thing can set me off
L0vingU021409 (9:58:09 PM): i think July
g0t til its g0ne (9:58:14 PM): but its like, i dont wanna go off on ppl
g0t til its g0ne (9:58:20 PM): i just wanna throw and break shit
L0vingU021409 (9:58:31 PM): i have those moments
L0vingU021409 (9:58:41 PM): when was the last time?
L0vingU021409 (9:58:50 PM): ooo yeah monday
L0vingU021409 (9:59:06 PM): i just wanted to go into the kitchen and drop plates on the floor
L0vingU021409 (9:59:13 PM): just to hear them shatter
L0vingU021409 (9:59:17 PM): hmmm
L0vingU021409 (9:59:23 PM): i got issues
g0t til its g0ne (9:59:30 PM): ohh i hope jimmy's ready
g0t til its g0ne (9:59:41 PM): theres gonna be a few good nights of me chucking plates at his head
L0vingU021409 (9:59:49 PM): wow really
g0t til its g0ne (9:59:58 PM): he already saw what i can do to a cell phone
g0t til its g0ne (10:00:05 PM): i broke him by throwing it at him
L0vingU021409 (10:00:18 PM): wowzers
L0vingU021409 (10:00:24 PM): sigh
g0t til its g0ne (10:00:40 PM): yeah
g0t til its g0ne (10:00:46 PM): i get it from my mom
g0t til its g0ne (10:00:51 PM): its a smith thing
g0t til its g0ne (10:00:54 PM): they throw shit
g0t til its g0ne (10:01:06 PM): cydni and i have it bad when we're extremely pissed
g0t til its g0ne (10:01:24 PM): theres been times when we all lived together back in norwalk, and she would get pissed at terrell
g0t til its g0ne (10:01:35 PM): the next morning, the living room would look like a battle zone
L0vingU021409 (10:01:42 PM): wow lmao
g0t til its g0ne (10:01:46 PM): candle wax all over the place
L0vingU021409 (10:01:59 PM): what did ur mom say?
g0t til its g0ne (10:02:07 PM): she throw a candle at the door while terrell was trying to leave and it shattered when it hit the door
g0t til its g0ne (10:02:15 PM): and it broke our keyholder thingy
L0vingU021409 (10:02:20 PM): haha
L0vingU021409 (10:02:29 PM): shes got an arm on her
g0t til its g0ne (10:02:44 PM): my mom was just like,'-shrug- clean it up' lol
L0vingU021409 (10:02:53 PM): haha
L0vingU021409 (10:02:59 PM): i need to go to the batting cages
L0vingU021409 (10:03:08 PM): that helps me
g0t til its g0ne (10:03:12 PM): naw, i dont like shit flyin at me
g0t til its g0ne (10:03:22 PM): i need to be the one to throw it. i dont wanna hit it lol
L0vingU021409 (10:03:53 PM): okay you could throw stuff at me, and i'll have my softball bat and hit it right back at you
L0vingU021409 (10:03:56 PM): hehehe
g0t til its g0ne (10:03:59 PM): um
g0t til its g0ne (10:04:06 PM): that would piss me off more cause its coming back lol
L0vingU021409 (10:04:11 PM): oooo
L0vingU021409 (10:04:14 PM): neverming
L0vingU021409 (10:04:20 PM): nevermind*
L0vingU021409 (10:04:26 PM): dont have time
L0vingU021409 (10:04:34 PM): to piss off the hbic
L0vingU021409 (10:04:40 PM): i want cereal
L0vingU021409 (10:04:46 PM): i wonder if my mom bought milk
g0t til its g0ne (10:04:55 PM): i got more cinnamon toast crunch 
L0vingU021409 (10:06:09 PM): poop
L0vingU021409 (10:06:12 PM): no more milk
L0vingU021409 (10:06:23 PM): mmmm apple raspberry juice
g0t til its g0ne (10:08:03 PM): hm
L0vingU021409 (10:08:29 PM): that's some good stuff
L0vingU021409 (10:09:02 PM): haha my birthday is 1% common... idk how they figure that out on facebook
g0t til its g0ne (10:09:47 PM): lol
g0t til its g0ne (10:09:48 PM): idk
g0t til its g0ne (10:09:50 PM): owww
g0t til its g0ne (10:09:52 PM): my tummy :/
g0t til its g0ne (10:10:01 PM): UGH
g0t til its g0ne (10:10:07 PM): 8 more days
g0t til its g0ne (10:10:08 PM): well
g0t til its g0ne (10:10:13 PM): 7 days
L0vingU021409 (10:10:23 PM): I know right 
L0vingU021409 (10:10:44 PM): Im thinking about asking her if i could have friday off instead of my birthday... we'll see how that goes tomorrow
g0t til its g0ne (10:11:06 PM): hm
g0t til its g0ne (10:11:13 PM): u sure?
L0vingU021409 (10:11:19 PM): no im not
g0t til its g0ne (10:11:22 PM): lol
g0t til its g0ne (10:11:26 PM): its ur bday
g0t til its g0ne (10:11:33 PM): u should be able to sleep in and do whatever
g0t til its g0ne (10:11:44 PM): unfortunately you wont be able to do me :P
L0vingU021409 (10:11:45 PM): Not like im doing nething... okay you're right
L0vingU021409 (10:11:52 PM): i know
L0vingU021409 (10:11:55 PM): sucks
g0t til its g0ne (10:11:56 PM): sigh sigh
L0vingU021409 (10:12:01 PM): but life goes on... i guess
g0t til its g0ne (10:12:07 PM): lol silly
L0vingU021409 (10:12:30 PM): i know i am
L0vingU021409 (10:12:37 PM): but eh, i've learned to live with it
g0t til its g0ne (10:13:35 PM): hmmmm
L0vingU021409 (10:14:01 PM): hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm what
g0t til its g0ne (10:14:20 PM): if you could do ANYTHING you wanted to me, what would you do?
g0t til its g0ne (10:14:30 PM): anything
g0t til its g0ne (10:14:35 PM): and im not just talking sexaul
g0t til its g0ne (10:14:39 PM): sexual* lol
g0t til its g0ne (10:14:42 PM): ANYTHING
L0vingU021409 (10:14:51 PM): ANYTHING
L0vingU021409 (10:14:53 PM): Hmmmm
L0vingU021409 (10:15:08 PM): nothing cause your perfect to me just the way you are
g0t til its g0ne (10:15:32 PM): well, i shouldnt say do TO me.. but WITH me
L0vingU021409 (10:15:45 PM): Ooo with you
L0vingU021409 (10:15:55 PM): If i could do anything with you
L0vingU021409 (10:16:01 PM): Ummmm
L0vingU021409 (10:16:08 PM): let me see here
g0t til its g0ne (10:16:12 PM): be hooonest
g0t til its g0ne (10:16:17 PM): dont hold back :P lol
L0vingU021409 (10:16:26 PM): There are a few things
L0vingU021409 (10:16:47 PM): wait if i answer... will you answer the same question for me too
g0t til its g0ne (10:16:53 PM): sure
L0vingU021409 (10:16:56 PM): okay
L0vingU021409 (10:18:57 PM): I'd want to spend every moment with you possible. Just being in your prescence brings a smile to my face and makes me happy. That's pretty much it in a nutshell. Just to be with you. I could anything and everything in the world, but it wouldn't be worth wild if i didnt have you to share it with, and that's from the heart
L0vingU021409 (10:19:12 PM): do*
g0t til its g0ne (10:20:21 PM): -sniffles-
g0t til its g0ne (10:20:43 PM): -mumbles- u suck
L0vingU021409 (10:20:50 PM): what
L0vingU021409 (10:20:53 PM): that's the truth
g0t til its g0ne (10:21:05 PM): no, you made me cry
g0t til its g0ne (10:21:09 PM): :P
L0vingU021409 (10:21:13 PM): awws.
L0vingU021409 (10:21:16 PM): I sorry
L0vingU021409 (10:21:19 PM): no crying
g0t til its g0ne (10:21:25 PM): i've never had anyone ever tell me that
L0vingU021409 (10:21:32 PM): really?
g0t til its g0ne (10:21:35 PM): yeah..
L0vingU021409 (10:21:42 PM): not even the asian man
g0t til its g0ne (10:22:01 PM): he's said that he wanted to spend his life with me... like, 2 yrs ago
g0t til its g0ne (10:22:06 PM): but thats about it
L0vingU021409 (10:22:10 PM): oooo
L0vingU021409 (10:22:13 PM): But yeah
L0vingU021409 (10:22:29 PM): that's how i've felt for awhile... you just never asked lmao
L0vingU021409 (10:22:41 PM): okay now u have to answer the question for me
L0vingU021409 (10:22:43 PM): 
L0vingU021409 (10:22:56 PM): If you could do anything with me, what would it be?
L0vingU021409 (10:23:10 PM): ANYTHING... on any level
g0t til its g0ne (10:23:32 PM): hm
g0t til its g0ne (10:23:41 PM): im going to name a few
g0t til its g0ne (10:23:49 PM): first
g0t til its g0ne (10:23:57 PM): i'd want to have babies with you
g0t til its g0ne (10:24:17 PM): like, honestly. i couldnt think of a better person to have kids with
L0vingU021409 (10:24:24 PM): really
g0t til its g0ne (10:24:28 PM): yeah
g0t til its g0ne (10:24:43 PM): like honeslty, i dont think i would make a good mom
g0t til its g0ne (10:24:48 PM): but with you? i know i could
L0vingU021409 (10:24:57 PM): Awws
L0vingU021409 (10:25:03 PM): ~tear~
L0vingU021409 (10:25:21 PM): okay next
g0t til its g0ne (10:26:07 PM): i'd run away with you
g0t til its g0ne (10:26:49 PM): you'd be the person i'd want to take to some far off island, and draw our names in the sand and stare at the sunrise and the sunset
g0t til its g0ne (10:27:20 PM): sometimes, honestly...
g0t til its g0ne (10:28:00 PM): i wish it were me and you moving in together. and maybe i shouldnt say such things cause it causes more confusion. but thats just how i feel
L0vingU021409 (10:28:19 PM): ~cries~
g0t til its g0ne (10:28:55 PM): im sorry
L0vingU021409 (10:28:58 PM): it's okay
g0t til its g0ne (10:29:01 PM): :/ i didnt want to make you cry
L0vingU021409 (10:29:19 PM): no dont worry about it, cause i've wished the same thing too
g0t til its g0ne (10:29:19 PM): or hurt you anymore
L0vingU021409 (10:29:41 PM): it wasn't ur intention
L0vingU021409 (10:29:44 PM): i know that
L0vingU021409 (10:30:13 PM): sigh... i there anymore on ur list :P
g0t til its g0ne (10:30:58 PM): honestly?
g0t til its g0ne (10:31:02 PM): i'd do anything with you
g0t til its g0ne (10:31:14 PM): we could fly to the moon and back for all i care
L0vingU021409 (10:31:46 PM): even rob a bank lmao
g0t til its g0ne (10:31:55 PM): even rob a bank
L0vingU021409 (10:31:58 PM): haha
g0t til its g0ne (10:32:02 PM): at least we'd be in jail together :]
L0vingU021409 (10:32:07 PM): i know right
L0vingU021409 (10:32:11 PM): wowzers
L0vingU021409 (10:32:20 PM): love is something crazy
L0vingU021409 (10:32:39 PM): but like u said... it's better to love then to not have loved at all right
g0t til its g0ne (10:32:51 PM): yeah
g0t til its g0ne (10:33:55 PM): im so fucking twisted, its ediculious
g0t til its g0ne (10:34:23 PM): ridiculous *
L0vingU021409 (10:34:27 PM): I've learned to deal with it
L0vingU021409 (10:34:35 PM): to some extent 
g0t til its g0ne (10:34:46 PM): sometimes its like i know what im doing
g0t til its g0ne (10:34:55 PM): and some times i stop and ask myself, wtf am i doing
L0vingU021409 (10:35:36 PM): but you know what you're doing
L0vingU021409 (10:35:41 PM): so why r u asking yourself
g0t til its g0ne (10:35:53 PM): because sometimes it feels right
g0t til its g0ne (10:35:58 PM): and sometimes it doesnt
L0vingU021409 (10:36:07 PM): oooo
L0vingU021409 (10:36:09 PM): hmmm
L0vingU021409 (10:36:18 PM): yeah i feel you on that one
g0t til its g0ne (10:36:33 PM): its like, theres you. and ur this wonderful person and its like DUH cacey, wtf are you doing, just stay with her
g0t til its g0ne (10:36:50 PM): and then theres him, and its like this is what you've wanted and its happening, dont pass up on it
g0t til its g0ne (10:38:41 PM): adn then i think, am i only going because this is a way out? or is there more to it
L0vingU021409 (10:39:07 PM): That's an answer you can only find within you baby girl
g0t til its g0ne (10:39:26 PM): i keep searching and i cant find it :/
g0t til its g0ne (10:39:29 PM): it got lost somewheres
g0t til its g0ne (10:39:32 PM): 
L0vingU021409 (10:40:03 PM): no it's there, but you may not like the answer... cause your mind and heart arent on the same page with it
g0t til its g0ne (10:41:14 PM): so then i tell myself, if you were to call me and say lets move intogether, i've got us a place
g0t til its g0ne (10:41:20 PM): its like would i go?
g0t til its g0ne (10:41:49 PM): which place would i choose if i had both options to leave?
g0t til its g0ne (10:42:49 PM): its like everytime i think i've found the question to answer my heart... i get backed into a corner.
g0t til its g0ne (10:43:44 PM): all the questions i come up with, i had a split answer.
g0t til its g0ne (10:43:49 PM): have*
L0vingU021409 (10:44:03 PM): Why the hell did u think i wanted to let go? Cause i don't want you to be in a corner. I wanted it to be easier for you... to jus go with him, as much as it would hurt me. I was willing to sacrifice me for you..
L0vingU021409 (10:44:16 PM): ew this video doesnt really match this song
g0t til its g0ne (10:44:40 PM): just because you leave doesnt mean its going to make it easier on me
g0t til its g0ne (10:44:46 PM): thats what you dont understand
g0t til its g0ne (10:45:22 PM): even if you completely cut yourself away. deleted me from everything, changed ur number. that still doesnt make it easier, that still doesnt mean i wont be in a corner
g0t til its g0ne (10:45:28 PM): it doesnt take my feelings away.
L0vingU021409 (10:45:40 PM): yeah
L0vingU021409 (10:45:43 PM): and i finally got that
g0t til its g0ne (10:46:45 PM): sometimes i feel like i have to hold on to what we have for as long as possible before i leave, and its like if i feel that way why am i leaving in the first place?
g0t til its g0ne (10:48:49 PM): and its like, even if i left and came back because things didnt work and i got down on my hands and knees and begged you to be with me. things will still be different. things will be different because i left in the first place. because i didnt choose you first.
g0t til its g0ne (10:48:59 PM): gosh i have word vomit. i need to shut up.
L0vingU021409 (10:49:25 PM): no
L0vingU021409 (10:49:29 PM): dont shut up
L0vingU021409 (10:49:36 PM): this needs to be said
L0vingU021409 (10:50:27 PM): you're finally letting out how you truly feel
L0vingU021409 (10:50:31 PM): so don't stop
L0vingU021409 (10:53:22 PM): and in a way it's like you're being selfish,cause you don't know how it really affects me. and what it's doing to me psychologically. but it's like i love the attention regardless... but then again i know this attention won't last forever... so i just go with it, and plan on dealing with the consequences laterz
L0vingU021409 (10:53:41 PM): which could be dumb in the long run, but honestly at this point i really don't care
g0t til its g0ne (10:54:47 PM): but its like... sigh
g0t til its g0ne (10:54:59 PM): everything that i ever say to you i truely mean it
g0t til its g0ne (10:55:16 PM): all my feelings, i truely feel and mean them
g0t til its g0ne (10:56:53 PM): but it slike
g0t til its g0ne (10:56:57 PM): my feelings hurt you
g0t til its g0ne (10:57:05 PM): and they mess with you just as much as they mess with me
g0t til its g0ne (10:57:07 PM): maybe evern more
g0t til its g0ne (10:57:19 PM): and i dont want that for you
g0t til its g0ne (10:57:25 PM): but its like, how do you stop it
L0vingU021409 (10:57:49 PM): by letting go... but that doesn't work with us
L0vingU021409 (10:57:55 PM): obviously
L0vingU021409 (10:58:00 PM): how many times have we tried
L0vingU021409 (10:58:05 PM): no success
L0vingU021409 (10:58:21 PM): and i thought this was going to be it, because i was at home
L0vingU021409 (10:58:25 PM): but yeah noooo
L0vingU021409 (10:58:33 PM): idk cace
g0t til its g0ne (11:00:53 PM): i dont understand why things with you feel so right
g0t til its g0ne (11:01:02 PM): and i dont understand why things with him feel so right
L0vingU021409 (11:01:20 PM): but it's like only one, is truly truly right
L0vingU021409 (11:02:16 PM): Though we hold the some similar qualities, we're still 2 different people
L0vingU021409 (11:02:43 PM): I want to say 2 way different people... but in your eyes maybe
L0vingU021409 (11:03:01 PM): and im not saying 2 way different people cause i have a beef against him
L0vingU021409 (11:03:39 PM): im saying it cause i believe it to be true
g0t til its g0ne (11:03:41 PM): you guys are completely different, but yet so much alike, it boggles me
L0vingU021409 (11:03:51 PM): yeah
L0vingU021409 (11:04:05 PM): it sucks that you're in the middle
L0vingU021409 (11:04:12 PM): better you then me lmao
L0vingU021409 (11:04:16 PM): not just kidding
L0vingU021409 (11:04:20 PM): no*
L0vingU021409 (11:05:06 PM): but i always get scared that the role is going to reverse, and i'm going in the middle of choosing you and someone completely new
g0t til its g0ne (11:05:29 PM): soemtiems its like, because i see you all the time.. its almost like i need to see him in order to validate a honest true answer. and it sounds so horrible, but...
L0vingU021409 (11:06:04 PM): wasn't that like when we went to AZ lmao
L0vingU021409 (11:06:17 PM): your answer was pretty validated then lmao
g0t til its g0ne (11:06:20 PM): i always think of both of you find someone completely new
g0t til its g0ne (11:06:25 PM): finding*
L0vingU021409 (11:06:37 PM): at this point in time, i doubt i can
L0vingU021409 (11:06:45 PM): it would take a while
L0vingU021409 (11:06:48 PM): like i long way
L0vingU021409 (11:06:51 PM): a*
L0vingU021409 (11:07:11 PM): a way
L0vingU021409 (11:07:29 PM): Oooo
L0vingU021409 (11:07:35 PM): that's why there were fireworks
L0vingU021409 (11:07:43 PM): i forgot graduation was tonight lmao
L0vingU021409 (11:07:52 PM): I heard fireworks earlier this evening
L0vingU021409 (11:08:10 PM): and i saw a post saying Congrats to Wolfpack graduates lmao
g0t til its g0ne (11:08:17 PM): hmm :]
L0vingU021409 (11:08:19 PM): okay got side tracked
g0t til its g0ne (11:08:25 PM): i cant wait until buddys on tuesday
g0t til its g0ne (11:08:32 PM): im gonna cry like a baby
L0vingU021409 (11:08:37 PM): yeah you are
L0vingU021409 (11:08:39 PM): lmao
g0t til its g0ne (11:08:42 PM): im not even gonna bother to wear make up
L0vingU021409 (11:08:46 PM): haha
g0t til its g0ne (11:08:51 PM): im gonna be blubbering like im his momma
L0vingU021409 (11:09:07 PM): be like that's my baby on stage lmao
g0t til its g0ne (11:09:10 PM): i remember seeing Jayson, my mom and dot crying at mine
L0vingU021409 (11:09:19 PM): haha
g0t til its g0ne (11:09:22 PM): Buddy was just beaming from ear to ear
L0vingU021409 (11:09:26 PM): haha
g0t til its g0ne (11:09:53 PM): we had like, senior thank yous that played while they were setting up and while we walked in, and they heard mine and thats when the tears started
L0vingU021409 (11:10:05 PM): Man Ne-yo knows the right words to sing for any situation...loves this song
L0vingU021409 (11:10:16 PM): sorry
g0t til its g0ne (11:10:17 PM): and momo's had just passed, like a couple of months before. so yeah it was bittersweet
L0vingU021409 (11:10:23 PM): awwws
L0vingU021409 (11:10:26 PM): i bet
L0vingU021409 (11:10:52 PM): I maybe going to Chicago sometime in august or july
L0vingU021409 (11:10:59 PM): I have to check
L0vingU021409 (11:11:08 PM): I wanna go see my dad and other sibilings
g0t til its g0ne (11:11:12 PM): hmm
g0t til its g0ne (11:11:16 PM): that would be fun :]
L0vingU021409 (11:11:22 PM): yeah
L0vingU021409 (11:11:27 PM): im considering it
g0t til its g0ne (11:11:33 PM): you should
g0t til its g0ne (11:11:37 PM): i thinkit would be good
L0vingU021409 (11:11:37 PM): my dad and uncle said they'd get our tickets
L0vingU021409 (11:11:52 PM): so yeah
L0vingU021409 (11:11:54 PM): we'll see
L0vingU021409 (11:12:09 PM): I'm to fly to be depressed... that's my favorite line...loves Ne-yo
g0t til its g0ne (11:12:17 PM): eh
g0t til its g0ne (11:12:45 PM): idc for him too much -shrugs- hes got good music, but i wont really listen to him voluntarily
L0vingU021409 (11:13:17 PM): haha
g0t til its g0ne (11:13:19 PM): even though my questions seem to open a can of worms.. i have another one
L0vingU021409 (11:13:21 PM): okay party pooper
L0vingU021409 (11:13:27 PM): okay
g0t til its g0ne (11:13:31 PM): what do you want to do with me before i leave?
L0vingU021409 (11:13:43 PM): to AZ for good
g0t til its g0ne (11:13:47 PM): yeah
L0vingU021409 (11:15:20 PM): shake you and ask if this is really what you want to do... lmao no... Honestly take a ride on the PCH one last time... stop where we stopped for me to go pee, and watch the sunrise... and kiss one last time
L0vingU021409 (11:15:37 PM): yup that's it
L0vingU021409 (11:17:05 PM): I'd just want to be in your prescence one last time
L0vingU021409 (11:17:19 PM): nothing fancy, just be with you
L0vingU021409 (11:17:27 PM): and hold your hand
L0vingU021409 (11:17:47 PM): r u crying again?
g0t til its g0ne (11:18:26 PM): sigh
L0vingU021409 (11:18:40 PM): what love?
L0vingU021409 (11:19:12 PM): it's the truth
L0vingU021409 (11:19:24 PM): I swear jus being around you, makes me happy.
L0vingU021409 (11:19:46 PM): We don't have to say anything. Just being with you brings a smile to my heart
L0vingU021409 (11:20:07 PM): There's just something about you, that makes me so happy.
L0vingU021409 (11:20:29 PM): IDK how less to explain it
g0t til its g0ne (11:20:44 PM): this isnt fair
L0vingU021409 (11:20:55 PM): what?
g0t til its g0ne (11:21:14 PM): that i have to make this choice, this decision
g0t til its g0ne (11:21:32 PM): this isnt fair that i have to leave someone behind
g0t til its g0ne (11:21:43 PM): because thats what i feel like
g0t til its g0ne (11:21:45 PM): either way
g0t til its g0ne (11:21:53 PM): im leaving someone behind
L0vingU021409 (11:22:05 PM): Look woman
L0vingU021409 (11:22:13 PM): how many times do i have to tell you
L0vingU021409 (11:22:18 PM): I aint going anywhere either way
L0vingU021409 (11:22:23 PM): i love you way to damn much
L0vingU021409 (11:22:50 PM): I mean things will be different yes, but i'll always be there regardless
g0t til its g0ne (11:23:25 PM): its just
g0t til its g0ne (11:23:40 PM): idk how to explain it
g0t til its g0ne (11:23:49 PM): i knwo ur going to be there, but its like.. ugh
g0t til its g0ne (11:24:23 PM): its hard to explain
g0t til its g0ne (11:24:37 PM): its frustrating because i cant find the words to explain it to you
L0vingU021409 (11:25:46 PM): jus ramble it may come somewhere in there
g0t til its g0ne (11:26:43 PM): its like ur gonna be there, but its going to be different
g0t til its g0ne (11:26:49 PM): its not gonna be how it could of been
g0t til its g0ne (11:26:54 PM): or how you wanted it
g0t til its g0ne (11:27:06 PM): i know you said you rather have me as a friend or whatever than nothing at all but
g0t til its g0ne (11:27:11 PM): i've been there
g0t til its g0ne (11:27:18 PM): i've said those exact words
g0t til its g0ne (11:27:31 PM): and when it came down to just being friends, it was like UGH so frustrating
g0t til its g0ne (11:27:53 PM): for me, it hurt just as much
g0t til its g0ne (11:28:02 PM): because i still wanted that person, but i couldnt have them
L0vingU021409 (11:28:15 PM): that's how i feel now
L0vingU021409 (11:28:22 PM): Cause i know you're not mine
L0vingU021409 (11:28:36 PM): even if u havent really made a solid choice
L0vingU021409 (11:29:17 PM): Honestly, when u go out to AZ for good, i know i won't be able to talk to all the time. When i want to, cause he's going to be asking 21 damn fucking questions
L0vingU021409 (11:29:23 PM): and i dont want you to deal with that
L0vingU021409 (11:29:30 PM): so yeah things r going to be different
L0vingU021409 (11:29:44 PM): and i would need a period of adjusting, and letting go
L0vingU021409 (11:29:52 PM): and being okay with the situation
L0vingU021409 (11:30:00 PM): and honestly that's what i wanted this summer to be
L0vingU021409 (11:30:08 PM): but it didnt end up being that way
g0t til its g0ne (11:30:23 PM): because its like, im still here
g0t til its g0ne (11:30:27 PM): i havent left yet
L0vingU021409 (11:31:02 PM): yeah exactly
L0vingU021409 (11:31:31 PM): ugh, why does love have to be a bitch
L0vingU021409 (11:31:40 PM): ~kicks love off a cliff~
g0t til its g0ne (11:31:55 PM): -watches as it falls, and spits on it-
L0vingU021409 (11:32:13 PM): way to go love lmao
g0t til its g0ne (11:32:17 PM): :]
L0vingU021409 (11:32:22 PM): sigh
L0vingU021409 (11:32:34 PM): we're sad little women
g0t til its g0ne (11:32:49 PM): my heart is dumb
g0t til its g0ne (11:32:55 PM): can i get a new one?
L0vingU021409 (11:33:17 PM): ummmm yeah... go ask Jesus for one
L0vingU021409 (11:33:21 PM): lol
g0t til its g0ne (11:33:30 PM): you can have first dibs if you find it 
L0vingU021409 (11:33:53 PM): ~looks for new heart~
g0t til its g0ne (11:33:55 PM): you can scrible ur name and doodle and everything
L0vingU021409 (11:34:11 PM): ~damnit where's that new heart~
L0vingU021409 (11:35:06 PM): I don't want the new one... i want the broken one... so God and I (well more God then me lol) can put it back together... and make it all better.
g0t til its g0ne (11:35:24 PM): hmm
g0t til its g0ne (11:35:48 PM): i can see u already trying to scratch out names :P
L0vingU021409 (11:36:10 PM): ~scrub scrub~
L0vingU021409 (11:36:44 PM): God moves me out the way... and sand blasts that sucker
L0vingU021409 (11:37:04 PM): I walk back... ~scrub scrub~
L0vingU021409 (11:37:26 PM): God moves me again... and pours a big bucket of soapy water on it
L0vingU021409 (11:38:04 PM): I walk back... ~scrub scrub~... Ay yo God can i get a rinse... God goes ~rinse rinse~
g0t til its g0ne (11:38:12 PM): hmm
g0t til its g0ne (11:38:28 PM): ur making it all shiny
L0vingU021409 (11:38:33 PM): Yeah man...
L0vingU021409 (11:38:35 PM): Wait
L0vingU021409 (11:38:46 PM): God needs to patch up some holes
L0vingU021409 (11:38:54 PM): ~patch patch~
L0vingU021409 (11:39:06 PM): now it needs to dry
L0vingU021409 (11:39:16 PM): then sand paperd
L0vingU021409 (11:39:21 PM): girl this is a lot of work
L0vingU021409 (11:39:27 PM): but it's all worth it in the end
g0t til its g0ne (11:39:43 PM): -hugs-
g0t til its g0ne (11:40:14 PM): i know its going to hurt in the end if i leave, but can we just hold on to each other?
g0t til its g0ne (11:40:26 PM): before it all changes?
g0t til its g0ne (11:40:39 PM): because even when it does hurt
g0t til its g0ne (11:40:50 PM): we'll still be able to look back later on and smile about it
g0t til its g0ne (11:41:15 PM): it will be bittersweet, but over time, it will just be sweet
g0t til its g0ne (11:41:27 PM): and maybe its selfish of me to ask that
g0t til its g0ne (11:41:30 PM): and im sorry
g0t til its g0ne (11:41:32 PM): and you can say no
g0t til its g0ne (11:41:36 PM): i'll understand
g0t til its g0ne (11:41:51 PM): but sometimes it doesnt hurt to ask
L0vingU021409 (11:42:07 PM): Well I'm surprised you asked lmao
L0vingU021409 (11:42:16 PM): It's something I'll have to think about
L0vingU021409 (11:42:29 PM): Like honestly
L0vingU021409 (11:43:20 PM): It's like i want to say yes, but then a part of says to say no
L0vingU021409 (11:43:26 PM): So idk right now
g0t til its g0ne (11:43:43 PM): i know, i understand
L0vingU021409 (11:44:21 PM): But i really do appreciate you for asking
L0vingU021409 (11:44:42 PM): shows that you truly care... not saying you didnt... but you know what i mean
L0vingU021409 (11:44:43 PM): i hope
g0t til its g0ne (11:45:01 PM): yeah
g0t til its g0ne (11:45:02 PM): i do
g0t til its g0ne (11:45:04 PM): :]
g0t til its g0ne (11:45:31 PM): hm
g0t til its g0ne (11:46:06 PM): its like, i got used to the idea of missing him. and sometimes it gets really bad. but the way i miss you
g0t til its g0ne (11:46:07 PM): wow
g0t til its g0ne (11:46:11 PM): its surprises me
g0t til its g0ne (11:46:14 PM): honestly
g0t til its g0ne (11:46:22 PM): not saying that i didnt think that i would miss you
g0t til its g0ne (11:46:27 PM): but its like
g0t til its g0ne (11:46:31 PM): the intensity of it
g0t til its g0ne (11:46:45 PM): i didnt think it would be so intense
L0vingU021409 (11:47:08 PM): Well you
L0vingU021409 (11:47:18 PM): I do leave quite a mark on people
L0vingU021409 (11:47:22 PM): jk
L0vingU021409 (11:47:43 PM): but yeah. I feel the same about you. Dude the first time i broke it off with you... i was a damn mess
L0vingU021409 (11:47:47 PM): like a wreck
g0t til its g0ne (11:48:14 PM): it feels like when you leave the house and you just KNOW ur forgetting something
g0t til its g0ne (11:48:21 PM): that nagging feeling, that tugs
g0t til its g0ne (11:48:27 PM): lmao, not that ur nagging
g0t til its g0ne (11:48:32 PM): but you know what im trying to say
g0t til its g0ne (11:48:42 PM): u tug at my heart
L0vingU021409 (11:49:16 PM): awwws
L0vingU021409 (11:49:24 PM): ~tug tug~ it's not moving
g0t til its g0ne (11:49:54 PM): ow :/
g0t til its g0ne (11:50:01 PM): dont tug so hard, its delicate! :P
g0t til its g0ne (11:50:37 PM): sigh
g0t til its g0ne (11:50:40 PM): this is dumb
g0t til its g0ne (11:50:49 PM): it was like, last night i missed him soooo much. i just cried.
g0t til its g0ne (11:50:57 PM): but all day today. you were on my mind like crazy
g0t til its g0ne (11:51:09 PM): i wish i could of ran to you and just held you for forever
g0t til its g0ne (11:51:19 PM): so this is dumb
g0t til its g0ne (11:51:32 PM): my heart needs to go over a cliff too
L0vingU021409 (11:51:59 PM): ~Cacey kicks heart over cliff~
L0vingU021409 (11:52:12 PM): Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun...
L0vingU021409 (11:52:17 PM): ~i caught it~
L0vingU021409 (11:52:22 PM): my heart
g0t til its g0ne (11:52:27 PM): :]
g0t til its g0ne (11:53:02 PM): hm
g0t til its g0ne (11:53:07 PM): is it the 19th yet?
g0t til its g0ne (11:53:26 PM): -looks at calendar-
L0vingU021409 (11:53:48 PM): ummm nope
L0vingU021409 (11:53:53 PM): one more week
g0t til its g0ne (11:55:40 PM): ugh
g0t til its g0ne (11:55:50 PM): -kicks calendar- mooove faaaster
g0t til its g0ne (11:56:16 PM): hm
g0t til its g0ne (11:56:26 PM): i have to pick out my undies -wiggles eyebrows-
L0vingU021409 (11:56:26 PM): hahaha
L0vingU021409 (11:56:32 PM): Mmmm
g0t til its g0ne (11:56:41 PM): or maaaaybe
L0vingU021409 (11:56:43 PM): well they're coming off either way lmao
g0t til its g0ne (11:56:46 PM): yeah
g0t til its g0ne (11:56:52 PM): i was gonna say i wont wear any
g0t til its g0ne (11:57:04 PM): what if i answered the door nekkid?
L0vingU021409 (11:57:34 PM): um i doubt we'd make it to the bed
L0vingU021409 (11:57:41 PM): I'd throw you on the couch
g0t til its g0ne (11:57:50 PM): oh
g0t til its g0ne (11:57:51 PM): wow
g0t til its g0ne (11:57:52 PM): hm
g0t til its g0ne (11:57:54 PM): -thinks-
L0vingU021409 (11:58:49 PM): Don't think to hard
g0t til its g0ne (11:58:56 PM): i cant
g0t til its g0ne (11:58:59 PM): my brain hurts :/
g0t til its g0ne (11:59:12 PM): honestly
g0t til its g0ne (11:59:21 PM): i mean of course i want to screw ur brains out
g0t til its g0ne (11:59:28 PM): but right now, at this moment in time
g0t til its g0ne (11:59:37 PM): which i know its going to change when i see you lmao
g0t til its g0ne (11:59:46 PM): but ijust wanna lazily make out
L0vingU021409 (11:59:59 PM): I don't mind that
g0t til its g0ne (12:00:01 AM): and roll around nekkid
L0vingU021409 (12:00:20 AM): which i will turn into screwing the living daylights out of me
g0t til its g0ne (12:00:29 AM): and just look at you
g0t til its g0ne (12:00:30 AM): hm
g0t til its g0ne (12:00:31 AM): true
g0t til its g0ne (12:00:35 AM): eventually, lol
L0vingU021409 (12:00:43 AM): yup yup
g0t til its g0ne (12:01:03 AM): owie :[
g0t til its g0ne (12:01:06 AM): my knee hurts
L0vingU021409 (12:01:28 AM): ~rubs knees~
L0vingU021409 (12:01:40 AM): then moves high and rubs something else 
g0t til its g0ne (12:02:06 AM): hey!
g0t til its g0ne (12:02:10 AM): tisk tisk
g0t til its g0ne (12:02:14 AM): 
L0vingU021409 (12:02:43 AM): You know you like it
g0t til its g0ne (12:02:46 AM): i just wanna lay with you
g0t til its g0ne (12:02:48 AM): and be with you
L0vingU021409 (12:02:52 AM): me too
g0t til its g0ne (12:02:56 AM): hmm
L0vingU021409 (12:03:04 AM): We don't have to have sex
g0t til its g0ne (12:03:08 AM): no we dont
g0t til its g0ne (12:03:13 AM): we will
g0t til its g0ne (12:03:14 AM): lmao
g0t til its g0ne (12:03:17 AM): but we dont have to
g0t til its g0ne (12:03:23 AM): its not a required rule
L0vingU021409 (12:03:28 AM): exactly
g0t til its g0ne (12:04:02 AM): yawn
g0t til its g0ne (12:04:08 AM): i took medicine for my allergies
g0t til its g0ne (12:04:14 AM): -frowns- i hate the weather
L0vingU021409 (12:04:28 AM): i feel bad for falling asleep on u last night
g0t til its g0ne (12:04:32 AM): lol
g0t til its g0ne (12:04:36 AM): i thought it was funny
g0t til its g0ne (12:04:39 AM): i was like this chick
g0t til its g0ne (12:04:40 AM): mmph
L0vingU021409 (12:05:06 AM): I was like laying there, waiting for the sound to go of when u sent something, but i guess i went to deep into a sleep
L0vingU021409 (12:05:09 AM): then i woke up lmao
g0t til its g0ne (12:06:20 AM): :***
L0vingU021409 (12:06:43 AM): I want to feel your kisses
g0t til its g0ne (12:06:53 AM): sooon :]
L0vingU021409 (12:07:06 AM): okay
L0vingU021409 (12:07:19 AM): i think im addicted to you
L0vingU021409 (12:07:21 AM): lmao
g0t til its g0ne (12:07:25 AM): uh oh
g0t til its g0ne (12:07:27 AM): well
g0t til its g0ne (12:07:32 AM): ur not alone in that boat :]
L0vingU021409 (12:08:56 AM): hehe
L0vingU021409 (12:09:00 AM): i didnt think so
g0t til its g0ne (12:09:24 AM): i want to get you something other than ur build a bear
g0t til its g0ne (12:09:29 AM): but it might take awhile
g0t til its g0ne (12:09:35 AM): i might even have to send it to you :/
L0vingU021409 (12:09:40 AM): it's okay
g0t til its g0ne (12:09:43 AM): but something else will come :]
L0vingU021409 (12:09:50 AM): okay
L0vingU021409 (12:09:56 AM): know that you dont have to
g0t til its g0ne (12:10:03 AM): i know, but i WANT to
L0vingU021409 (12:10:18 AM): i still have to figure out what i'm gettin you for your birthday
L0vingU021409 (12:10:21 AM): you're going to be 21
g0t til its g0ne (12:10:26 AM): 
L0vingU021409 (12:10:27 AM): so it have to be on point
g0t til its g0ne (12:10:29 AM): why yes, yes i am
g0t til its g0ne (12:10:31 AM): hehehe
L0vingU021409 (12:10:33 AM): haha
L0vingU021409 (12:10:36 AM): loserface
L0vingU021409 (12:10:40 AM): loves you so much
g0t til its g0ne (12:11:15 AM): ily2
L0vingU021409 (12:11:32 AM): 
g0t til its g0ne (12:12:15 AM): well
g0t til its g0ne (12:12:25 AM): maybe my second gift will give you some ideas lol
g0t til its g0ne (12:12:27 AM): just sayin
L0vingU021409 (12:12:38 AM): ideas of what
g0t til its g0ne (12:12:44 AM): of what to get me lol
L0vingU021409 (12:12:50 AM): oo okay lmao
g0t til its g0ne (12:12:59 AM): but you'll just have to wait and see :x
L0vingU021409 (12:13:08 AM): i already got you tattooed on me
L0vingU021409 (12:13:24 AM): so i have to do something else...
L0vingU021409 (12:13:30 AM): I can wait
L0vingU021409 (12:13:32 AM): Im excited
g0t til its g0ne (12:13:42 AM): im excited for you haha
g0t til its g0ne (12:13:49 AM): cause i know ur gonna be like AHHHH!!!
g0t til its g0ne (12:14:15 AM): and like blow my ear drums
g0t til its g0ne (12:14:24 AM): 
L0vingU021409 (12:14:31 AM): Oh snap
L0vingU021409 (12:14:37 AM): now i want to know
g0t til its g0ne (12:14:44 AM): hehee -evil cackle-
L0vingU021409 (12:14:55 AM): hmmm
L0vingU021409 (12:15:06 AM): i'll jus have to wait and see i guess
L0vingU021409 (12:15:58 AM): But i can't wait
L0vingU021409 (12:16:06 AM): im tryin to play it cool
L0vingU021409 (12:16:07 AM): lmao
g0t til its g0ne (12:16:13 AM): i know you cant lol
g0t til its g0ne (12:16:14 AM): and i know u are
g0t til its g0ne (12:16:17 AM): haha
g0t til its g0ne (12:16:19 AM): its okay
g0t til its g0ne (12:16:23 AM): in due time
L0vingU021409 (12:16:55 AM): yeah for sure
L0vingU021409 (12:17:01 AM): it will be when i least expect it too
L0vingU021409 (12:17:04 AM): watch
L0vingU021409 (12:17:31 AM): i have to give u my school address, if u send it after you leave to AZ for good
g0t til its g0ne (12:20:07 AM): yeah, like i said we'll seeee
L0vingU021409 (12:20:16 AM): ugh
L0vingU021409 (12:20:20 AM): i wish i had milk
g0t til its g0ne (12:20:28 AM): awws
g0t til its g0ne (12:20:34 AM): -gives you milk-
L0vingU021409 (12:20:44 AM): i wish it were that easy
g0t til its g0ne (12:20:48 AM): i know right
g0t til its g0ne (12:20:50 AM): lol
g0t til its g0ne (12:20:52 AM): poor baby
L0vingU021409 (12:21:03 AM): yes
L0vingU021409 (12:21:06 AM): poor keena
L0vingU021409 (12:21:08 AM): argh
L0vingU021409 (12:21:14 AM): i want to delete my myspace
g0t til its g0ne (12:21:19 AM): why? lol
L0vingU021409 (12:21:25 AM): stalker status
g0t til its g0ne (12:21:28 AM): ahahah
g0t til its g0ne (12:21:31 AM): awws
g0t til its g0ne (12:21:34 AM): :**
L0vingU021409 (12:21:48 AM): Im like ugh
L0vingU021409 (12:21:50 AM): leave me alone
L0vingU021409 (12:21:56 AM): and i dont want to be a bitch
L0vingU021409 (12:22:00 AM): and be talking to him
L0vingU021409 (12:22:03 AM): acting as if i like
L0vingU021409 (12:22:04 AM): him
L0vingU021409 (12:22:07 AM): when i dont
L0vingU021409 (12:22:12 AM): so i jus leave it alone
g0t til its g0ne (12:22:45 AM): yeah :/
g0t til its g0ne (12:22:54 AM): but sometimes  you have to pull the bitch card
L0vingU021409 (12:23:28 AM): yeah
L0vingU021409 (12:23:43 AM): I dont think, i have that card in my deck
L0vingU021409 (12:23:56 AM): can i borrow yours.... hahahahahaha
L0vingU021409 (12:23:58 AM): wow
L0vingU021409 (12:24:01 AM): that was funny
L0vingU021409 (12:24:15 AM): i was so just kidding on that one
L0vingU021409 (12:24:30 AM): but you have to admit
L0vingU021409 (12:24:33 AM): that was funny
g0t til its g0ne (12:25:06 AM): MMPH
g0t til its g0ne (12:25:08 AM): :P
g0t til its g0ne (12:25:13 AM): maybe i'll let you see it
g0t til its g0ne (12:25:19 AM): you might like it too much and try to keep it
L0vingU021409 (12:25:20 AM): ummm no thank you
L0vingU021409 (12:25:26 AM): hmmmm
L0vingU021409 (12:25:31 AM): maybe
L0vingU021409 (12:25:45 AM): i can be a bitch
L0vingU021409 (12:25:50 AM): i jus choose not too
g0t til its g0ne (12:25:57 AM): mmhmm
L0vingU021409 (12:26:05 AM): i do
L0vingU021409 (12:28:07 AM): Omg
L0vingU021409 (12:28:15 AM): so one night... i think this week
L0vingU021409 (12:28:25 AM): I couldnt get the discipline song out my head
L0vingU021409 (12:28:51 AM): I went to sleep with that song in my head, and lets say my dreams were not the most innocent lmao
g0t til its g0ne (12:29:24 AM): LMAO
g0t til its g0ne (12:29:26 AM): awws baby
g0t til its g0ne (12:29:28 AM): thats cute
g0t til its g0ne (12:29:30 AM): :**
L0vingU021409 (12:29:47 AM): Then i remember you singing it to me at the beach
g0t til its g0ne (12:29:55 AM): -evil cackle-
L0vingU021409 (12:29:57 AM): and how i was blushing lol
g0t til its g0ne (12:30:01 AM): hehehehhee
L0vingU021409 (12:30:06 AM): I was like, dude we're so cute togeter
L0vingU021409 (12:30:09 AM): together*
g0t til its g0ne (12:30:25 AM): ur cute and adorable
L0vingU021409 (12:31:11 AM): im the sweet/cute/adorable girl, and your the hot/sexy/badass chick
L0vingU021409 (12:31:31 AM): opposites do attract... we're witnesses to that
L0vingU021409 (12:32:25 AM): 
g0t til its g0ne (12:33:41 AM): wow
g0t til its g0ne (12:33:45 AM): hot sexy badass
g0t til its g0ne (12:33:57 AM): never thought those words would be used to describe me
L0vingU021409 (12:33:58 AM): yess
L0vingU021409 (12:34:12 AM): Well i use them to describe you
L0vingU021409 (12:34:23 AM): u underestimate yourself chica
g0t til its g0ne (12:34:30 AM): idk -shrugs- lol
L0vingU021409 (12:34:37 AM): hey
L0vingU021409 (12:34:53 AM): stop being so damn modest
g0t til its g0ne (12:35:04 AM): i know i can look good when i put forth effort, but half the time i look like a bum lol
L0vingU021409 (12:35:32 AM): but your personality...makes you hot sexy and badass like
L0vingU021409 (12:35:35 AM): lmao
g0t til its g0ne (12:35:46 AM): lately i have been.. i've been lazy and stressed. idk the last time i had make up on, or actually took time to pick out clothes lol
g0t til its g0ne (12:35:52 AM): hmm
g0t til its g0ne (12:35:54 AM): interesting lol
L0vingU021409 (12:36:49 AM): I go for personality sweetheart, but it's like your hot too... so i get everything in a package called Cacey
L0vingU021409 (12:36:55 AM): bam
g0t til its g0ne (12:37:57 AM): lol silly girl
L0vingU021409 (12:38:47 AM): I'm silly cause i speak truth lol
g0t til its g0ne (12:39:23 AM): yes
L0vingU021409 (12:39:53 AM): i wonder what i am when i lie
L0vingU021409 (12:40:00 AM): lies i can never get away with
L0vingU021409 (12:40:06 AM): cause u give me that damn look lmao
g0t til its g0ne (12:40:42 AM): lmao
g0t til its g0ne (12:40:46 AM): ur goofy when you lie
g0t til its g0ne (12:40:50 AM): smh
L0vingU021409 (12:40:54 AM): haha
g0t til its g0ne (12:41:06 AM): its funny as hell
g0t til its g0ne (12:41:12 AM): it just doesnt work
L0vingU021409 (12:41:13 AM): i bet
L0vingU021409 (12:41:19 AM): stfu
g0t til its g0ne (12:41:22 AM): 
L0vingU021409 (12:41:33 AM): it worked once
L0vingU021409 (12:41:55 AM): when i told u how they wanted to kick me out for being with you
L0vingU021409 (12:41:59 AM): hehehe
g0t til its g0ne (12:42:11 AM): you lied about that?!
L0vingU021409 (12:42:26 AM): ummm yeah
g0t til its g0ne (12:42:39 AM): ...
g0t til its g0ne (12:42:48 AM): whore
g0t til its g0ne (12:42:49 AM): lol
g0t til its g0ne (12:42:56 AM): -smack, smack-
L0vingU021409 (12:43:00 AM): sorry
g0t til its g0ne (12:43:01 AM): no
g0t til its g0ne (12:43:02 AM): no
L0vingU021409 (12:43:10 AM): I said i was sorry
L0vingU021409 (12:43:27 AM): I only did it cause i wanted to be with you... sad but true
L0vingU021409 (12:43:29 AM): lmao
g0t til its g0ne (12:43:44 AM): wha?
g0t til its g0ne (12:43:50 AM): i confused
g0t til its g0ne (12:43:52 AM): sigh
L0vingU021409 (12:44:08 AM): I had jus came from your house that day...
L0vingU021409 (12:44:23 AM): so i made something up so i could go back and be with you
L0vingU021409 (12:44:30 AM): yeah i know it was dumb
L0vingU021409 (12:44:51 AM): i didnt lie about Dawn wanting to talk to me, jus the whole possibility of me gettin kicked out
L0vingU021409 (12:44:58 AM): yeah
g0t til its g0ne (12:45:18 AM): MMPH
g0t til its g0ne (12:45:19 AM): lol
g0t til its g0ne (12:45:22 AM): you didnt have to lie
g0t til its g0ne (12:45:27 AM): youjust could of came back
g0t til its g0ne (12:45:28 AM): dork
L0vingU021409 (12:45:33 AM): yeah i know
L0vingU021409 (12:45:39 AM): i was also jus frustrated
L0vingU021409 (12:46:01 AM): cause i went, and bri was there. and everyone was hanging out. But you were the only thing i could think about
L0vingU021409 (12:46:17 AM): And i really just wanted to be with you
L0vingU021409 (12:46:50 AM): It was a like this strong desire... so lied to them saying i had to take care of an emergency in Temecula
L0vingU021409 (12:46:54 AM): Yeah i was bad
g0t til its g0ne (12:46:59 AM): hm
g0t til its g0ne (12:47:04 AM): lies just all the way around 
g0t til its g0ne (12:47:11 AM): lol
L0vingU021409 (12:47:33 AM): yeah... lying isnt good
L0vingU021409 (12:47:45 AM): cause u have to tell lies to cover up lies you've told
L0vingU021409 (12:47:48 AM): and it's jus a mess
g0t til its g0ne (12:48:24 AM): exactly
g0t til its g0ne (12:48:33 AM): its just snowballs
g0t til its g0ne (12:48:34 AM): ugh
L0vingU021409 (12:48:47 AM): so no more telling lies
L0vingU021409 (12:49:02 AM): I've reinstated my ask don't tell law
L0vingU021409 (12:49:10 AM): don't ask don't tell*
L0vingU021409 (12:50:40 AM): you don't ask
L0vingU021409 (12:50:43 AM): i won't tell
g0t til its g0ne (12:50:53 AM): lol
g0t til its g0ne (12:50:55 AM): i see
L0vingU021409 (12:51:16 AM): so it's not lying
L0vingU021409 (12:51:28 AM): you're just not asking the right questions to get the whole truth
g0t til its g0ne (12:51:35 AM): i love how it doesnt work for me tho :]
L0vingU021409 (12:51:37 AM): I'm like what with my mom
g0t til its g0ne (12:51:46 AM): i dont apply to those
g0t til its g0ne (12:51:51 AM): i know you too much
L0vingU021409 (12:51:58 AM): like if you ask a general question... i'll give u a general answer
L0vingU021409 (12:52:09 AM): ask a deep question i'll give a deep answer
L0vingU021409 (12:52:13 AM): easy as that
g0t til its g0ne (12:52:16 AM): mmhmm
L0vingU021409 (12:52:21 AM): idk if she's caught on yet
g0t til its g0ne (12:52:26 AM): and most times ppl just ask surface questions
g0t til its g0ne (12:52:33 AM): so they're assed out
L0vingU021409 (12:52:52 AM): yup yup
L0vingU021409 (12:53:01 AM): shit out of luck as bree would say
L0vingU021409 (12:53:38 AM): i need to go to SD
g0t til its g0ne (12:54:43 AM): hm
g0t til its g0ne (12:54:45 AM): then go
g0t til its g0ne (12:54:46 AM): :]
L0vingU021409 (12:55:04 AM): i will
L0vingU021409 (12:55:06 AM): in JUly
L0vingU021409 (12:56:00 AM): ugh
g0t til its g0ne (12:56:07 AM): eeek
L0vingU021409 (12:56:10 AM): i missed my mouth and spilled water on my pillow
L0vingU021409 (12:56:12 AM): sigh
g0t til its g0ne (12:56:18 AM): omggg, i hate that i cant remember the name of that series!
g0t til its g0ne (12:56:22 AM): -smacks head-
g0t til its g0ne (12:57:04 AM): its mortal instruments aaaaandd.. ugh
g0t til its g0ne (12:57:08 AM): think cacey, think
g0t til its g0ne (12:57:10 AM): grr
g0t til its g0ne (12:57:18 AM): krissy's said it about a million times
L0vingU021409 (12:57:38 AM): huh?
L0vingU021409 (12:57:42 AM): i spilled water
L0vingU021409 (12:57:49 AM): and you're talkin about instruments
g0t til its g0ne (12:58:35 AM): noo
g0t til its g0ne (12:58:38 AM): books lol
g0t til its g0ne (12:58:59 AM): im getting my reading list together again lol
L0vingU021409 (12:59:10 AM): nerd
g0t til its g0ne (1:00:22 AM): fooound it!
L0vingU021409 (1:00:23 AM): Man i forgot how much i miss Zolie... good times with that chick
g0t til its g0ne (1:00:25 AM): 
L0vingU021409 (1:00:29 AM): 
L0vingU021409 (1:01:31 AM): love?
L0vingU021409 (1:02:06 AM): cacey...
g0t til its g0ne (1:02:12 AM): hm?
L0vingU021409 (1:02:18 AM): hi
g0t til its g0ne (1:02:42 AM): OMG
g0t til its g0ne (1:02:43 AM): ahaha
g0t til its g0ne (1:02:52 AM): theres a faery book
g0t til its g0ne (1:03:02 AM): and theres character names keenan and donia
g0t til its g0ne (1:03:03 AM): hehehe
L0vingU021409 (1:03:09 AM): huh?
g0t til its g0ne (1:03:14 AM): fiction
g0t til its g0ne (1:03:16 AM): book
g0t til its g0ne (1:03:18 AM): characters
g0t til its g0ne (1:03:24 AM): keenan and donia
L0vingU021409 (1:03:34 AM): where?
g0t til its g0ne (1:03:38 AM): lol
g0t til its g0ne (1:03:41 AM): smh
g0t til its g0ne (1:03:47 AM): im looking up books for my list
L0vingU021409 (1:03:51 AM): oooo
g0t til its g0ne (1:03:59 AM): and the characters names popped out
g0t til its g0ne (1:04:05 AM): cause they're close to keena and adonia
g0t til its g0ne (1:04:09 AM): gosh woman lol
L0vingU021409 (1:04:44 AM): oooo
L0vingU021409 (1:04:45 AM): ok
L0vingU021409 (1:05:08 AM): I loves this song
L0vingU021409 (1:05:18 AM): Knock you Down by Keri Hilson
g0t til its g0ne (1:05:42 AM): yeeah
g0t til its g0ne (1:05:47 AM): video reminds me of me
g0t til its g0ne (1:05:49 AM): :/
L0vingU021409 (1:05:50 AM): i know
L0vingU021409 (1:05:55 AM): i was just thinkin about that
L0vingU021409 (1:05:59 AM): Can i be Kanye
g0t til its g0ne (1:06:01 AM): sigh
L0vingU021409 (1:06:02 AM): lmao
g0t til its g0ne (1:06:02 AM): LMAO
g0t til its g0ne (1:06:04 AM): why?
L0vingU021409 (1:06:16 AM): cause im darker... the asian can be neyo
g0t til its g0ne (1:06:20 AM): lmao
g0t til its g0ne (1:06:25 AM): thats his favorite singer too
L0vingU021409 (1:06:29 AM): yeah
L0vingU021409 (1:06:31 AM): he can have him
g0t til its g0ne (1:06:37 AM): smh
g0t til its g0ne (1:06:39 AM): :**
L0vingU021409 (1:07:14 AM): chica... this is so your video
L0vingU021409 (1:07:36 AM): plus, i've always wanted to be a rapper
g0t til its g0ne (1:07:58 AM): -snuggles in ur lap, yawwn-
g0t til its g0ne (1:08:00 AM): u can rap to me
g0t til its g0ne (1:08:04 AM): maybe lol
L0vingU021409 (1:08:07 AM): no
L0vingU021409 (1:08:16 AM): you wouldnt want me to
g0t til its g0ne (1:08:19 AM): LMAO
g0t til its g0ne (1:08:22 AM): thats why i said maybe
g0t til its g0ne (1:08:24 AM): haha
L0vingU021409 (1:08:28 AM): stfu
g0t til its g0ne (1:08:34 AM): :*******
L0vingU021409 (1:08:48 AM): sometimes looove comes around.. and it knocks... just get back up when it knocks you down
L0vingU021409 (1:09:00 AM): get up Cacey
L0vingU021409 (1:09:04 AM): get up
g0t til its g0ne (1:09:09 AM): eh
L0vingU021409 (1:09:53 AM): ~pulls you up and holds you for forever~
g0t til its g0ne (1:10:38 AM): mmmm
L0vingU021409 (1:11:11 AM): okay wait
L0vingU021409 (1:11:18 AM): I think i have to be ne-yo
g0t til its g0ne (1:11:22 AM): lmaoo
L0vingU021409 (1:11:28 AM): it goes better...
L0vingU021409 (1:11:39 AM): cause i'm the new person to come into the picture
L0vingU021409 (1:11:44 AM): nd kanye was always there
L0vingU021409 (1:11:48 AM): so yeah
g0t til its g0ne (1:11:53 AM): yee
L0vingU021409 (1:12:00 AM): listen to the lyrics lol
g0t til its g0ne (1:12:03 AM): i need to watch that vid again
g0t til its g0ne (1:12:09 AM): havent seen it in awhile
g0t til its g0ne (1:12:16 AM): its very vague in my mind
L0vingU021409 (1:12:34 AM): there's a line Kanye says in his rap at the end
L0vingU021409 (1:12:50 AM): and yeah jimmy mos def is kanye lmao
g0t til its g0ne (1:13:06 AM): lol
g0t til its g0ne (1:13:09 AM): whats the line?
L0vingU021409 (1:13:14 AM): hold on
L0vingU021409 (1:13:21 AM): i have to listen to it again lmao
L0vingU021409 (1:13:38 AM): but then again he can be ne-yo
L0vingU021409 (1:16:18 AM): weren't meant to be, but we just happened... we was magic... usually your boyfriend, now i'm a has been
L0vingU021409 (1:16:59 AM): new favorite song lol. It's been Ne-yo Go on Girl for a while
L0vingU021409 (1:17:04 AM): but i likes this one
L0vingU021409 (1:18:46 AM): I think the 1 line i typed is it that makes Jimmy Kanye... because in the beginning of it all he was trying to get with Kelly not you... and he was in love with his ex... but idk
L0vingU021409 (1:19:02 AM): i could be interpting that wrong
g0t til its g0ne (1:19:40 AM): well
g0t til its g0ne (1:19:45 AM): he wasnt trying to get with kelly
g0t til its g0ne (1:19:50 AM): he just wanted to sleep with her lmao
L0vingU021409 (1:19:56 AM): oooooo nevermind
L0vingU021409 (1:19:57 AM): idk
g0t til its g0ne (1:20:04 AM): yeah
L0vingU021409 (1:20:16 AM): i loves this song
L0vingU021409 (1:20:19 AM): though
g0t til its g0ne (1:20:24 AM): and well, originally, we figured we would just be bootycalls to each other lmao
g0t til its g0ne (1:20:30 AM): horrible yes, but true
L0vingU021409 (1:21:01 AM): well i choose ne-yo
L0vingU021409 (1:21:09 AM): he's more clean cut like me 
g0t til its g0ne (1:21:12 AM): mmph
L0vingU021409 (1:21:28 AM): plus it makes sense in my mind to be him
L0vingU021409 (1:22:06 AM): you need to watch the video
L0vingU021409 (1:22:59 AM): it feels like i'm in a race, when i already won first place...
L0vingU021409 (1:23:02 AM): i likes that line
g0t til its g0ne (1:24:53 AM): hmmm
L0vingU021409 (1:25:34 AM): dude i had a pimp ship...lmao
L0vingU021409 (1:25:50 AM): and you were the pretty little missle that shot me out the sky 
g0t til its g0ne (1:26:00 AM): lol
g0t til its g0ne (1:26:01 AM): wow
L0vingU021409 (1:26:16 AM): this is a good song
L0vingU021409 (1:27:32 AM): dude, this would be a picture...
L0vingU021409 (1:27:46 AM): me standing on one side, and him on the other
L0vingU021409 (1:27:50 AM): you in the middle
L0vingU021409 (1:28:02 AM): photoshoot...lmao
L0vingU021409 (1:28:04 AM): just kidding
g0t til its g0ne (1:28:07 AM): eeek
g0t til its g0ne (1:28:10 AM): :/
g0t til its g0ne (1:28:11 AM): idk lol
g0t til its g0ne (1:28:14 AM): that would be scary
L0vingU021409 (1:28:45 AM): yeah it would be
L0vingU021409 (1:28:58 AM): but it would be very artistic at the same time
g0t til its g0ne (1:29:19 AM): yes
g0t til its g0ne (1:29:23 AM): i'd hang it up
g0t til its g0ne (1:29:24 AM): lol
L0vingU021409 (1:29:26 AM): I already know what outfit i'd wear
L0vingU021409 (1:29:51 AM): wait no
L0vingU021409 (1:29:55 AM): i dont like that one
L0vingU021409 (1:30:00 AM): Hmmm maybe
L0vingU021409 (1:30:02 AM): no
L0vingU021409 (1:30:19 AM): Ooo i'd wear red
L0vingU021409 (1:30:26 AM): he could wear blue...
L0vingU021409 (1:30:33 AM): and you could wear purple
L0vingU021409 (1:30:55 AM): wait no
L0vingU021409 (1:30:59 AM): i had this in my head
L0vingU021409 (1:31:22 AM): ugh lost it
L0vingU021409 (1:32:26 AM): wait
L0vingU021409 (1:32:30 AM): i think that's my line
L0vingU021409 (1:32:42 AM): We weren't meant to be... we just happened
L0vingU021409 (1:32:52 AM): cause in the beginning we were friends
L0vingU021409 (1:33:11 AM): idk im reading into this music a little to much for my own good
g0t til its g0ne (1:34:20 AM): yes
g0t til its g0ne (1:34:21 AM): lol
g0t til its g0ne (1:34:30 AM): -pats ur cheek-
g0t til its g0ne (1:34:31 AM): :**
g0t til its g0ne (1:34:34 AM): its okay tho
L0vingU021409 (1:34:44 AM): sigh
L0vingU021409 (1:35:12 AM): 
g0t til its g0ne (1:36:15 AM): :*
g0t til its g0ne (1:36:19 AM): me dont like that face
L0vingU021409 (1:36:28 AM): 
L0vingU021409 (1:36:37 AM): 
g0t til its g0ne (1:36:43 AM): stooop ittt
L0vingU021409 (1:36:48 AM): 
L0vingU021409 (1:36:53 AM): 
L0vingU021409 (1:36:58 AM): i done
g0t til its g0ne (1:37:01 AM): lol
L0vingU021409 (1:37:19 AM): im to fly to be depressed
L0vingU021409 (1:37:43 AM): as much as i want to be, but it doesnt help a damn thing
L0vingU021409 (1:37:55 AM): so why even bother with it
L0vingU021409 (1:38:07 AM): only can sit in self pity for so long
L0vingU021409 (1:38:43 AM): then you gotta get up and keep going. Keep moving forward, and not sit in past hurt and pain
g0t til its g0ne (1:39:39 AM): yeah
L0vingU021409 (1:39:48 AM): but
L0vingU021409 (1:39:56 AM): it's easier said then done
L0vingU021409 (1:40:04 AM): 
L0vingU021409 (1:40:45 AM): i can say all that over and over to myself... but hurt and pain are still going to come
L0vingU021409 (1:41:03 AM): as much as i just want to bottle it
L0vingU021409 (1:41:10 AM): that wont help either
L0vingU021409 (1:41:17 AM): so i have to face it head on
g0t til its g0ne (1:41:43 AM): sight
g0t til its g0ne (1:41:46 AM): sigh*
L0vingU021409 (1:42:05 AM): i dont like facing things head on
L0vingU021409 (1:42:09 AM): it hurts lmao
g0t til its g0ne (1:42:12 AM): -cuddles, purrs, yawns, stretches-
g0t til its g0ne (1:42:17 AM): duuuhhh
L0vingU021409 (1:42:18 AM): like running into a brick wall
g0t til its g0ne (1:42:26 AM): ur head is pretty hard, but im sure it'll still hurt :P
L0vingU021409 (1:42:33 AM): stfu
L0vingU021409 (1:43:05 AM): it feels almost like when you do leave... imma be left behind to pick up the broken pieces
g0t til its g0ne (1:43:22 AM): :/
L0vingU021409 (1:43:40 AM): and with everything that happens to me... everytime someone leaves... im alone left to pick up those broken pieces
L0vingU021409 (1:43:50 AM): think i would be used to it by now, but nooo
g0t til its g0ne (1:44:03 AM): seee..i dont want that not at all
L0vingU021409 (1:44:07 AM): still hurts, still sucks... but that's life right
L0vingU021409 (1:44:30 AM): well it's gonna happen whether, i'm ready or not
L0vingU021409 (1:44:43 AM): or whether you're ready for it or not
g0t til its g0ne (1:44:54 AM): im sorry
L0vingU021409 (1:45:52 AM): and that's all you can say... nothing more nothing less... cause i know it's not intentional... it is what it is
L0vingU021409 (1:46:27 AM): i jus have to figure out a way how imma pick up these pieces, for a final time
g0t til its g0ne (1:47:55 AM): -huff-
g0t til its g0ne (1:48:04 AM): idk what to say
g0t til its g0ne (1:48:14 AM): theres nothing i can say
g0t til its g0ne (1:48:19 AM): its all so fucked up
g0t til its g0ne (1:48:30 AM): i fucked it all up
L0vingU021409 (1:48:55 AM): in life things get fucked up
L0vingU021409 (1:49:28 AM): either the fucker of everything... or you're a bystander that gets sucked into the vortex of fucked upness
g0t til its g0ne (1:49:52 AM): its all my fault.
L0vingU021409 (1:49:58 AM): hey
L0vingU021409 (1:50:01 AM): you stop t
L0vingU021409 (1:50:03 AM): it*
g0t til its g0ne (1:50:06 AM): but it is
g0t til its g0ne (1:50:13 AM): how else could it be explained?
L0vingU021409 (1:50:25 AM): yeah it is, but don't go throwing yourself a pity party
L0vingU021409 (1:50:30 AM): okay u fucked up
L0vingU021409 (1:50:34 AM): bam
L0vingU021409 (1:50:44 AM): damage has been dome
L0vingU021409 (1:50:46 AM): done*
L0vingU021409 (1:51:02 AM): and some still lingers... but it's like im aware of what's about to take place
L0vingU021409 (1:51:17 AM): im not blinded sided like i was when we were in AZ
L0vingU021409 (1:51:28 AM): neither one of us knew what was going to happen
L0vingU021409 (1:51:32 AM): u said so yourself
L0vingU021409 (1:51:38 AM): soooo...
L0vingU021409 (1:51:56 AM): all we can do is move from this day forward, and press on to tomorrow
L0vingU021409 (1:52:02 AM): and the days to come afterwards
g0t til its g0ne (1:53:42 AM): but never did i expect to fall in love with you.
L0vingU021409 (1:54:11 AM): but im still trying to figure out when that occured
L0vingU021409 (1:54:24 AM): cause either u were good at hiding it
L0vingU021409 (1:54:32 AM): or it became a recent thing
g0t til its g0ne (1:55:27 AM): why would it matter?
g0t til its g0ne (1:55:35 AM): it is what it is
L0vingU021409 (1:55:47 AM): yeah you're right
L0vingU021409 (1:56:25 AM): honestly, it's hard to see myself as being loveable...if that makes sense
L0vingU021409 (1:57:11 AM): for so long, i've kind of been tossed to the side... like i knew my mom cared... but for the longest i felt she only loved me for the things i could do
L0vingU021409 (1:57:24 AM): idk
g0t til its g0ne (1:57:29 AM): but you are. u ae so loveable for who you are as a person, not what you can do
g0t til its g0ne (1:57:41 AM): im telling you theres just something that pulled me in and held on
g0t til its g0ne (1:57:54 AM): and it was about what you could do
g0t til its g0ne (1:58:01 AM): it was about who you are on the inside
g0t til its g0ne (1:58:11 AM): wasnt*
L0vingU021409 (1:58:38 AM): wow... thanks. never got that from ne1 before
L0vingU021409 (1:58:58 AM): like that jus really made my day
g0t til its g0ne (1:59:05 AM): its the truth
L0vingU021409 (1:59:17 AM): yeah
L0vingU021409 (1:59:37 AM): i know it is, jus something i need to start believing in
g0t til its g0ne (1:59:49 AM): well you should
L0vingU021409 (2:00:04 AM): im a work in progress here
L0vingU021409 (2:00:07 AM): lol
g0t til its g0ne (2:00:14 AM): work harder
L0vingU021409 (2:00:18 AM): hey...
L0vingU021409 (2:00:23 AM): you shouldnt be talkin
L0vingU021409 (2:00:32 AM): ur a work in progress too young lady
g0t til its g0ne (2:00:39 AM): i know this, trust
L0vingU021409 (2:00:44 AM): lol
L0vingU021409 (2:00:48 AM): jus makin sure
L0vingU021409 (2:00:52 AM): 
g0t til its g0ne (2:00:59 AM): i've known it since i was 10 yrs old
g0t til its g0ne (2:01:08 AM): im not even exageratting
L0vingU021409 (2:01:18 AM): i believe you
g0t til its g0ne (2:01:56 AM): i know i have to work at things, and pick apart things and put those things back together
g0t til its g0ne (2:02:07 AM): and sometimes, its put back together in a different way
g0t til its g0ne (2:02:12 AM): but thats just how it goes
L0vingU021409 (2:02:20 AM): yeah for sure
g0t til its g0ne (2:03:02 AM): -looks at calendar- is it the 19th yet?
L0vingU021409 (2:03:08 AM): no
L0vingU021409 (2:03:15 AM): 7 more days
g0t til its g0ne (2:03:18 AM): UGH -kicks calendar-
g0t til its g0ne (2:03:26 AM): O.O
L0vingU021409 (2:03:29 AM): in due time
g0t til its g0ne (2:03:40 AM): sigh.
L0vingU021409 (2:03:41 AM): whats with those eye
L0vingU021409 (2:03:43 AM): s
g0t til its g0ne (2:03:47 AM): idk
g0t til its g0ne (2:03:55 AM): i think they're funny lol
g0t til its g0ne (2:04:01 AM): O.o
g0t til its g0ne (2:04:04 AM): and that one
L0vingU021409 (2:04:32 AM): d-_-b
g0t til its g0ne (2:04:40 AM): MONKEY!
L0vingU021409 (2:04:44 AM): ummm
L0vingU021409 (2:04:45 AM): no
g0t til its g0ne (2:04:49 AM): u?
g0t til its g0ne (2:04:50 AM): lol
L0vingU021409 (2:04:56 AM): noo foo
L0vingU021409 (2:05:03 AM): listening to music
L0vingU021409 (2:05:08 AM): i got it from aol
g0t til its g0ne (2:05:09 AM): that was my next guess
g0t til its g0ne (2:05:15 AM): looks like earphones
L0vingU021409 (2:05:15 AM): mmmhmmm
g0t til its g0ne (2:05:19 AM): it was!
g0t til its g0ne (2:05:22 AM): swear
g0t til its g0ne (2:05:23 AM): lol
L0vingU021409 (2:05:25 AM): okay
L0vingU021409 (2:05:40 AM): hahaha
L0vingU021409 (2:05:52 AM): that song came out of no whee
L0vingU021409 (2:05:56 AM): where*
g0t til its g0ne (2:06:00 AM): ?
L0vingU021409 (2:06:11 AM): Kiss me through the phone
L0vingU021409 (2:06:42 AM): i want 2 b kissed
g0t til its g0ne (2:06:47 AM): :**
L0vingU021409 (2:07:01 AM): no like in real life status lmao
g0t til its g0ne (2:07:05 AM): mmmph
L0vingU021409 (2:07:48 AM): i just want ur tongue half way down my throat... thats it
g0t til its g0ne (2:08:21 AM): O.O
g0t til its g0ne (2:08:33 AM): -jaw drop-
g0t til its g0ne (2:08:38 AM): u can just be doin that to people
L0vingU021409 (2:08:51 AM): i know i can lmao
g0t til its g0ne (2:09:01 AM): cant*
g0t til its g0ne (2:09:02 AM): mmph
L0vingU021409 (2:09:08 AM): u like it
L0vingU021409 (2:09:35 AM): lick lick...mmmm
L0vingU021409 (2:09:50 AM): kiss kiss on neck
g0t til its g0ne (2:09:59 AM): that evil
g0t til its g0ne (2:10:00 AM): stop it
L0vingU021409 (2:10:09 AM): okay
g0t til its g0ne (2:10:17 AM): grrr
L0vingU021409 (2:10:19 AM): imma go to bed
L0vingU021409 (2:10:25 AM): i love you 
g0t til its g0ne (2:10:29 AM): :/
g0t til its g0ne (2:10:31 AM): kay
L0vingU021409 (2:10:32 AM): sleep tight
g0t til its g0ne (2:10:35 AM): ily2
g0t til its g0ne (2:10:38 AM): :*
L0vingU021409 (2:10:39 AM): :*

Grown

Once confused, lost
Now found, assured
My darling you have grown
Once living for others
Now living for myself
My darling I have grown
Once two different people
Now becoming one
My darling we have grown
With growth comes hurt and pain
To become the diamonds
We were destined to be
Growth cannot be abstained
We grow in pain
Whether it’s mine or yours
We both share in growth
Becoming stronger
Learning from one another
I’d have it no other way
Knowing that I can call on you
You can call on me
Each and every day
To share who we are in our pain
And grow stronger together in the midst of it.

Beauty

Deep brown eyes
The tears I see you cry
The past is where your heart turns to

Thinking … is it going to happen?
Will such a good thing leave you behind, again?
But if something good left you, was it ever good in the beginning?
Because wouldn’t that good thing, think of you as a good thing too?
Not wanting to leave, but to hold on to you in the midst of your brokenness?

Tears fall
You are a good thing, even in the midst of everything
Mixed with the pain of the past

You are beautiful to me
In the midst of your brokenness
I see beauty.

If I had to be 100% honest with myself...

I would say... I'm still in love with you. I'm not sure when that will change...or if it will ever change. But if I had to 100% honest with myself that's what I would say.