Is this it?

IDK. I feel as if my head is on a different head spin right now. Maybe I am out of the storm. I am doubtful of it sometimes, but maybe this is it. Am I really ready to move on now? Maybe it did have to take me screaming at the top of my lungs in the car to get over myself. To stop thinking so much about the future and the past and live for today. To live for me and me alone right now. To do what Keena wants to do, and not what every body else says do. I feel as if my heart is content. I deserve to be happy, and my happiness is what I'm trying to pursue. I can look at her page and see in a relationship and my heart doesn't ache anymore. I feel as if that's a good sign. -shrug- I hope this feeling doesn't go away. I've been waiting for this content feeling, and I feel as if it's here. I hope it's here to stay for awhile, because those ups and downs were becoming overrated. Like for real for real... and I was the one causing them. To think, I was my own wall standing in the way of my contentment. Who would have thought?

Revelation

I always complained within myself that you never gave me anything tangible to attach myself to you when you weren't near me. But then I remember the mix cd you gave me on V-day... Listening to these songs, reminds me how much you loved me and how much you love me.

I Feel Beautiful

Nothing I ever did was good enough for you
Nothing I ever did could ever seem to please you
You always tried to make me feel small
And all I did was give you my all
Never felt pretty enough
Never felt sexy enough
Never felt good enough
You tried to keep me down on my knees
I got myself back up on my feet
Found the strength to set myself free

And I feel beautiful, beautiful
I feel beautiful, beautiful
You could not crush my soul
Crush my soul
Nothing you can do
make you take away my right to feel
Beautiful, beautiful
I was down so low down so low
But I won't be
Won't be brought down anymore
I stand with my head held high
I feel beautiful

Use to make me feel like I did nothing right
Use to make me feel like I meant nothing in your life
Always gave all I had to you
All I wanted was for you too
See me as pretty enough
See me as sexy enough
See me as good enough
But all I did was waste all my time
I woke up and open my eyes
Finally took back hold of my life

You tried to make me feel worthless
Now I know I'm not
My worth is priceless
I got back my pride
I took back my life